


Dr. Glass's Very Very Bad Day

by Garbage (NekoNekoNi)



Series: Mega-crossovers And Other Bullshittery [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Portal (Video Game), SCP Foundation, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Team Fortress 2, The Stanley Parable, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Body Adventure, Body Exploration, Butts, Crack, Crack Crossover, Fantastic Voyage Plot?, Gen, Giantess - Freeform, Multiple Crossovers, Original Character(s), What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 17:50:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoNekoNi/pseuds/Garbage
Summary: Dr. Glass and Dr. Bright find themselves inside the body of a powerful creature, working for the weirdest delivery service you will ever hear of. I made this based off a random thought I couldn't ignore, and I ended up with the hot mess you now see before you. This story contains characters from my other fic, "Super Eeveelution Rescue Team", but it is not necessary to read it in order to understand this story.





	1. A Most Peculiar Scenario

Dr. Bright pushed the button on the communicator attached to his shirt, opening the channels of communication across their ship. He looked around for a few seconds, staring at the pulsating flesh surrounding him before leaning down at his shirt and speaking into the communicator.

"Is everyone ready to start?"

"I'm ready!" Heavy shouted.

"Charged and ready!" Medic replied.

"Let's-a go!" Mario and Luigi shouted in unison.

"we're ready to BRO now."

"SANS!! STOP ANNOYING EVERYONE WITH YOUR INCIDENTAL PUNS!!"

"sorry, i'll be BUTTER next time."

"SANS!!"

Dr. Bright laughed at the skeleton's silly puns and switched off the communicator. He was about to redirect to the living ship's channel and tell them to start moving when a cry of alarm came from his right. He turned around and saw Dr. Glass in the chair beside him, looking around at his surroundings in shock.

"Where are we? How did we get here? What happened to Site-19? Why can't I remember anything that's occurred in the past four hours?"

Dr. Bright quickly muttered for the ship to wait a few minutes for him. Then he looked back over to Dr. Glass.

"Calm down," He said calmly. "I don't remember anything either. Do you know why, though?"

Dr. Glass shook his head no.

"Because the backstory hasn't been revealed yet," Dr. Bright said knowingly. "When the backstory hasn't been revealed yet, then nobody knows what happened to make people get anywhere."

Dr. Glass shook his head. "You're insane."

"It's true, though," Dr. Bright said. "How else would be both be here, along with a crew of characters from well-known video games, all riding inside of a giant Flareon?"

With that final remark, Dr. Bright left Glass in confusion and pushed on his shirt communicator again.

"Okay, we're ready now," He said. "Do your thing, Rach."

There was a brief moment of silence, and then they were all sent tumbling to the ground as the giant Flareon named Rachrina began to walk, the flesh surrounding them jiggling as she carried her crew and cargo towards their first destination.

Dr. Glass looked around in horror, now completely and utterly bewildered. "What just happened?"

Dr. Bright smiled, put on a pair of sunglasses and set his captain's chair into recliner mode. "You've just began working for the weirdest delivery service the multiverse has ever known."


	2. A Glass To The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting in this chapter, the story will begin referencing multiple SCPs and the events that surrounded them. If you know about all of them, then congratulations on being a wiki crawler like me!

Four hours earlier, Dr. Bright was in the Site-17 breakroom, playing with a macro quantum-entagled Jenga set. He examined the tower carefully, looking for any spots that might be good or bad to pull from. After a few minutes of waiting, he made his move, pushing out a wooden block from the center and carefully placing it on top of the tower.

"Your move," He whispered into the empty air.

The tower wiggled slightly as somewhere in Site-15, the Jenga set to which this one was quantum-entagled with was being interacted with by someone else. This unknown person slowly pried a single wooden block out of their tower. The tower in front of Dr. Bright copied the action, causing the corresponding block to float out of its spot and land itself on top of the tower. However, they had taken it from a bad spot, and the tower soon collapsed... again. Whoever he was playing with was really bad at this.

Meanwhile in the next room, Dr. Glass was answering a phone call. "Hello?"

"Hi, can I speak to Dr. Glass?"

"That's me. What's the issue?"

"Report to the front desk right away. We have just received a memo addressed to you and Dr. Bright, and it is very important that you read it as soon as possible."

"Okay. I'll be right over there."

Dr. Glass hung up the phone and rushed into the breakroom. Dr. Bright, who was sitting at a table and reading a fortune cookie, turned over to look at him as he came in.

"Hey Glass!" He said. "You are not going to believe what it says on here..."

"I don't have time right now," Glass muttered. "We both need to go to the front desk immediately."

"So what?"

"There's a memo there that we need to read immediately."

"So what?"

"Just come with me, okay?"

"Okay."

*-*

Dr. Bright and Dr. Glass arrived at the front desk a few moments later. The researcher there breathed a sigh of relief, and the Site Director standing next to him did as well.

"Thank goodness you're here! We've been worrying about what to do about this all day!"

"What do you mean?" Dr. Glass asked.

"Just read it," the Site Director said.

He handed them the memo and Dr. Glass read it. His eyes grew wider and wider as he read it. When he was done, he gave it to Dr. Bright to read.

_TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN_

_IT HAS COME TO THE ATTENTION OF ████████ THAT MULTIPLE RECENT YGGDRASIL-SEVERANCE EVENTS ARE TIED TO ACTIONS PERFORMED BY YOUR ORGANIZATION, The SCP Foundation. SINCE UNIVERSE 8d57-fE2ξ-D (THE UNIVERSE YOUR ORGANIZATION INHABITS) HAS DISPLAYED LIMITED MULTIVERSAL TRAVEL CAPABILITY PRIOR TO THESE INCIDENTS, AND SINCE WE HAVE ALREADY SENT NOTICE ABOUT THIS ISSUE, IT IS BELIEVED THAT THE ACTIONS PERFORMED BY YOUR ORGANIZATION ARE BOTH WITH MALICE AND FULL KNOWLEDGE OF THE RESULTING REPERCUSSIONS._

_THIS CORRESPONDENCE IS THEREFORE CONSIDERED TO BE A CEASE-AND-DESIST ORDER BY ████████. FURTHER ACTIONS ON YOUR ORGANIZATION'S PART THAT CONTRIBUTE TO A YGGDRASIL-SEVERANCE EVENT WILL RESULT IN INTERVENTION OF ARMED ████████ FORCES. FURTHERMORE, ALL EMPLOYEES OF YOUR ORGANIZATION MUST PERFORM FOUR (4) STELLAR CYCLES OF COMMUNITY SERVICE ON BEHALF OF ████████._

_WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION._

_SIGNED,_

_ Sigma-Xotoxin, OFFICE OF MULTIVERSAL INCIDENTS._

"What is this?" Dr. Glass shouted. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"No," The Site Director said.

"Is this April 1st or something? Because seriously, this isn't funny."

"It's not a joke."

Dr. Glass frowned. "So you're telling me this is legit."

"Yes."

"I have to perform community service...in another universe...for four months?"

"Yes."

Dr. Glass's head drooped in dismay. "I'll come quietly."

*-*

And with those three words, Dr. Glass was whisked away from the land of memories and backstories, returning to the unusual and still-confusing present.

"I knew this was all coming, of course," Dr. Bright said, a smirk crossing over his face. "Just look at the fortune I got."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the slip of paper that had come from the inside of his fortune cookie.

_You will be found very tasty by a fiery behemoth._

Dr. Glass sighed. "I have to agree. That fortune seems too specific to be non-anomalous. But still... how did you know we were going to be doing community service?"

"I already told you. In this story, I'm experiencing time differently," Dr. Bright explained, fingering the medallion around his neck as he spoke. "You see events in chronological order, while I see events in the order they are shown in the text."

"You're insane," Dr. Glass said, getting up and starting to move away from Dr. Bright.

"Don't you go anywhere!" Dr. Bright said, his eyes suddenly lighting up in a blast of emotion.

That did it for Glass. He ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. He went to the airlock and slammed the door closed. He got on an air suit as quick as he could while Dr. Bright was banging on the other side, telling him to come back. The other door opened, and Dr. Glass ran out into the airless environment, leaving Dr. Bright far behind as he allowed himself to get lost in the many fleshy tunnels inside of this unnaturally large beast.

He slowed down to a walk, still moving along out of instinct rather than necessity. He shook his head. He told himself over and over that this wasn't the community service, and that it couldn't possibly be what Dr. Bright and Sigma-Xotoxin were referring to. And yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that it actually was.

He finally stopped walking and just stood there, surrounded by the flesh. It pulsated slightly as the gigantic creature they were in continued to walk to an unknown destination, shaking their insides back and forth with every step they took. From a distance not far away, he could hear gurgling noises from their stomach and the steady thumping beat of their heart.

The scientist in him was a little curious, and he was almost tempted to head towards the sounds and investigate. But he forced those thoughts away. He still couldn't remember where he was or how he had gotten here. Exploring unknown territory right now might just get him killed.

The memories. This was what he needed right now. He needed to remember what had happened. Everything that had happened. The truth, and nothing but the truth.

He sat down in the middle of the tunnel and closed his eyes.


	3. The Parafictional Anomalies

"So let me get this straight," Dr. Glass said. "You're telling me that we have to be shrunken down and take a ride inside of a creature from another universe...that can shoot fire."

"So what's the problem?" Dr. Bright asked.

Dr. Glass glared at the other doctor. "And we have to deliver packages to other universes as well."

"So what's the problem?"

Dr. Glass frowned, a deep worry crossing over his face. "You're not acting like yourself. What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. Really."

"No, you're not. You've become crazy, like that 'list of things Dr. Bright shouldn't do' e-mail chain that keeps popping up in my spam folder. You better tell me what's going on with you right now."

Dr. Bright sighed. He didn't want to do this... but it was time.

"Come with me."

Dr. Glass sighed and followed Dr. Bright back to his office. He sat down on the terminal and logged in.

USERNAME: O5-10

PASSWORD: ALLHAILTHEDEER

"What are you doing logging into an overseer's account?!" Dr. Glass shouted. "And how do you even know their password?"

"For the second question: I sneaked up behind them and dropped SCP-963 around their neck," Dr. Bright said calmly. "And for the first question: you're about to see... everything."

Now logged into the prior overseer's account, he quickly navigated to SCP-001. The page of the database loaded slowly, revealing its contents to Dr. Glass for the first time, and to Dr. Bright for the twenty-eighth time.

**_**Item #:**_** _SCP-001_

**_**Object Class:**_** _Keter_

**_**Special Containment Procedures:**_** _There is no means to contain SCP-001 yet found that does not risk a potential ZK Reality Failure event and subsequent destruction of the observable universe. (See: Containment Protocol ZK-001-Alpha) Current procedures are limited to the absolute containment of information regarding SCP-001. No data regarding the nature or description of SCP-001 shall be provided to any personnel with the sole exception of the senior member of O5 Command. (Currently O5-█) All data collected in regard to SCP-001 shall be stored in encrypted form via [REDACTED], with the decryption key split into thirds. Each member of O5 Command shall memorize one third, and only one third, of the decryption key. Data shall only be decrypted on a network-isolated eyes-only terminal to be read only by the senior member of O5 Command, and then only after unanimous consent of O5 Command._

_Leaking of data about SCP-001, through espionage, telepathic leakage, original research or [REDACTED] must be contained by any and all means available to the Foundation. The senior member of O5 Command, as the one person with authorized knowledge about SCP-001, is the final arbiter on containment._

_Foundation personnel of Level two or higher who discover data about SCP-001 in the course of their normal duties may be given a Class A Amnesiac after debriefing rather than being terminated. This is subject to O5 approval on a case-by-case basis._

_**Description:** [DATA EXPUNGED]_

"I don't understand," Dr. Glass said. "What even is this? There's no description anymore."

"That's what I thought, too, until I scrolled down into this glitched portion of the entry and found this."

He scrolled down past the redacted description and to the very bottom of the incident log, where a glitched portion was indeed showing. Dr. Bright clicked on it, and it expanded into more text.

_Ask yourself if you want to know._

_If the answer is no, then you need to stop reading now. If you go and report this unauthorized file to your superiors, act contrite, and claim that you only read to this paragraph, you might get away with a Class A Amnestic. If you’re lucky. And if the O5s aren’t particularly paranoid at the moment._

But Dr. Glass didn't stop reading. He kept on going. He had to know about this piece of forbidden knowledge. He had to know about SCP-001.

_Everyone who works any length of time at the Foundation knows the universe we live in is a seriously fucked up place. Those of us who still believe in God tend toward serious ambivalence about his handiwork._

_But we found out that there is a God, and it is SCP-001._

_And it’s a bunch of horror writers._

"Oh my..." Dr. Glass said.

"That's right," Dr. Bright said. "The cause of every anomaly in our universe...is a group of creative writers in another universe who write them into being real."

"Uhh..."

"It's not just the anomalies, actually. They write everything. The Sites, the personnel, every single document we have, the Groups of Interest... every single action we have ever taken or ever will take." Dr. Bright turned to look up at the ceiling. "They might even be controlling us right now." He turned back down to Dr. Glass. "Did that answer your questions?"

A red light began flashing on the computer they were using, and a few seconds later, an alarm began to blare loudly.

"ALERT! ALERT!" The speakers on the side of it shouted. "UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS OF AN OVERSEER ACCOU—"

Dr. Bright quickly reached over and unplugged the speakers, but it was too late. Everyone in the facility had probably heard the alarm.

"We need to leave right now," Dr. Glass said.

"Agreed," Dr. Bright said, shutting off the computer.

They both ran away from the computer and headed towards the Emergency Exit. They slammed the doors open and closed, triggering another alarm, but they didn't care. In a few minutes, they would have escaped them. In fact, they would be far, far away from the Foundation's influence.

It was time to do a bit of "community service".

*-*

Dr. Glass opened his eyes and found himself back in the present once more. Something about him seemed different. He was missing a certain part of his anatomy... he was on all fours... he had a tail? What in the world is going on here?

And then, all by itself, his new body began to move. Then he realized that he hadn't actually transformed. He had just turned into a ghost somehow... or a soul, now that SCP-158 was coming to mind. Geez, nothing was making sense for him lately.

_Oh, you look lost._

Dr. Glass looked around for the voice's source. The body he was possessing was currently walking along the path of a forest. The grass surrounding the path was unnaturally tall, so tall that even Dr. Glass could have gotten lost in it at his normal voice. And the trees were even taller! Where in the multiverse was this unnatural place?

_Dr. Glass, you seem terribly confused._

He nearly jumped at the sound of the voice again, except for the fact that he completely lacked a physical body to jump with. He looked around again, scanning around for anyone in the vicinity who might be talking to him. But he was alone, except for the "fiery behemoth" he was floating right next to.

[Are you talking to me?] He asked.

_No, I'm having a phone call with Elvis._

He couldn't help but have a quick chuckle at that one. It had been a long time since he had heard someone tell him something he found even the slightest bit amusing.

[Can you please explain to me what's going on?]

_Sure. I'm Rachrina, a "fiery behemoth" from this universe._ The orange-and-cream-colored quadruped winked at him. _And you are Dr. Glass, a stuffy psychologist who works at "The SCP Foundation"._

Dr. Glass sighed. [I am not stuffy!]

_Whatever._

[But that was everything I already knew. I need you to tell me the stuff that I don't know yet. Where am I, and what happened to my body?]

_Where are you? Doing community service with me, of course. You always say so._

[I never said—]

_And what happened to your body? No idea. But I know that most of the cargo I'm carrying today is...highly magical, or as you say, "anomalous". If you just float back to your own body, I think everything will go back to normal._

[Uh... Thank you...]

_Glad to help you. Come back any time._

[But I don't want to come back.]

_But you don't want to leave either. Otherwise, you would have already started looking for your body by now._

[I only just—]

_Admit it, you morsel. You find me...hot._

[Uh... Er... I'm leaving now.]

_See you_ _soon, Glass._

Dr. Glass quickly floated away from Rachrina's face, going to the back of her so he wouldn't have to look into her face anymore. He floated forward slowly and nervously, testing the feeling of his phantom non-self against her skin. He was relieved when it went through at his touch, and he went back in the rest of the way.

He was surrounded by flesh on all side, and could also see an x-ray vision of her entire body. He looked around, the scientist in him taking in the various unusual sights and mentally recording them for later. It didn't take him long to locate his body, and he floated into it, regaining control of it.

He got up from the floor of the tunnel and headed back the way he had came. He had calmed down a bit, and now that he knew a bit more about his current circumstances, he was willing to attempt to deal with Dr. Bright. Besides, he was running out of air in his suit. It was best to get back before that happened.

His thoughts directed themselves toward Rachrina and her comments, and he sighed. This was going to be a long trip.

*-*

Dr. Bright was playing cards in the pilot room when Dr. Glass rushed back into the airlock. He took off his air suit and took a great big breath of air. The second doorway opened up, and Dr. Glass stepped into the cockpit.

Dr. Bright smiled. He had known that Dr. Glass would eventually come back. He always did, of course. It was only a matter of time before he would come back this time, as he had always done before.

"Hey, that's a new record," Dr. Bright said to him.

"I still hate you," Dr. Glass said. "It's just that I dislike... her... more."

"I can hear you," A familiar voice said over the communications system, which was still turned on.

"Oh no," Dr. Glass whispered. "Did she hear me?"

"Don't worry," Dr. Bright whispered back. "I don't think she heard you."

"I definitely heard you."

"Crap."

"You need to learn some manners," Rachrina said to Dr. Glass. "Do you want to be ejected?"

"Ejected?" He asked.

"More like 'ejacted'," Dr. Bright said with a slight snicker, "But still not as sexy as death by dismemberment."

Dr. Glass shivered. "No, I wouldn't want that."

"Good," Rachrina said.

"Good," Dr. Glass repeated.

"Aw man!" Dr. Bright shouted.

"Now, Dr. Bright sort-of told you the truth...but it wasn't fully accurate. And it leaves out quite a few details," Rachrina said. "So if you don't mind, just sit back, Mr. Glasses, and I'll tell you how deep the rabbit hole really goes..."


	4. Nine-Tailed Fox

Four hours earlier, Dr. Bright was in the Site-17 breakroom, playing with a macro quantum-entangled Jenga set. In one hand, he was examining the tower carefully, looking for any spots that might be good or bad to pull from. In the other hand, he was fingering the [DATA EXPUNGED] he had stolen from the Site Director's desk again and again, wondering how he could put the anomaly to good use. After a few minutes of waiting, he made his move, pushing out a wooden block from the center and carefully placing it on top of the tower.

"Your move, Nobody," He whispered into the empty air.

The tower wiggled slightly as somewhere in the universe, the Jenga set to which this one was quantum-entagled with was being interacted with by Nobody. He slowly pried a single wooden block out of their tower. The tower in front of Dr. Bright copied the action, causing the corresponding block to float out of its spot and land itself on top of the tower. However, they had taken it from a bad spot, and the tower soon collapsed... again.

Dr. Bright sighed. This was the sixth time in the past thirty minutes. Nobody was really bad at this. They each picked up some of the pieces, and they began to build the tower again.

Meanwhile in the next room, Dr. Glass was answering a phone call. "Hello?"

"Hi, can I speak to Dr. Glass?"

"That's me. What's the issue?"

"We have received a report from Researcher ██████ that SCP-953 has escaped containment."

"What?!" Dr. Glass shouted. "How?!"

"No time to find out how right now. It is very important that it gets back into containment, and that it doesn't leave the site."

"Why haven't you raised the alarm yet?"

"Uh... The loudspeaker system is currently 'infected' by a... memetic pop song, so we need you to spread the word and make sure all of the doors get locked down until Nine-Tailed Fox can contain this thing."

Dr. Glass nodded to himself. Then he frowned. Something sounded wrong there...

"Wait a minute... Did you say 'Nine-Tailed Fox'?"

"Err... Um... No I didn't! I actually said... Umm... Errr..."

"You just made a Freudian Slip, didn't you?"

"No... No I didn't... I am your Site Director..."

"OH MY GOD!" Dr. Glass shouted. "YOU ARE SCP-953!"

He slammed the phone onto the reciever and rushed into the break room. Dr. Bright, who was sitting at a table and reading a fortune cookie, turned over to look at him as he came in.

"Hey Glass!" He said. "You are not going to believe what it says on here..."

"I don't have time right now," Glass muttered. "We both need to lock down the entire site immediately."

"What's wrong?" Dr. Bright asked innocently.

"I just talked with SCP-953 on the phone."

Dr. Bright just stared at him blankly. Then his eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh. That one..."

"The loudspeakers and alarms can't be triggered right now, so we need to lock down the whole site."

"So what?"

"It's important that the skip doesn't escape!" Dr. Glass shouted. "We're talking a memetic fox that can hypnotize people into killing each other and then serve both bodies to other people as food!"

"So what?"

Dr. Glass sighed. The last thing he needed was an insane Dr. Bright in the facility during a contaiment breach. But he needed his help. If the facility didn't get locked down, then everyone would be in trouble. "Just come with me, okay?"

"Okay."

*-*

Dr. Glass and Dr. Bright arrived at the central control room a few moments later. After a brief moments looking around from the entry hallway, Dr. Glass decided it was clear and they both went in. The computers were all still on here, thankfully. All they needed was the password.

"I got this," Dr. Glass said. "You just sit back and watch."

He sat down on the terminal and logged in.

USERNAME: DRBRIGHT

PASSWORD: TROPICALCREAM

He quickly navigated to the door control system. Then he slammed his hands across the keyboard at amazing speed, typing at an incredible speed that did not seem to be possible to be typing at without making some sort of error in their operation.

A few moments later, there was a loud buzzing noise. Dr. Glass looked around and saw that he had done it. The emergency doors were closing everywhere... including on the two doorways leading out of the room. The only two. And they were closing very fast.

"Umm... Shouldn't we be getting out of here?" Dr. Glass asked.

"No."

The two doors both slammed, and Dr. Glass whipped around to look at Dr. Bright.

"How are we supposed to get out now?"

"With this."

Dr. Bright pulled the [DATA EXPUNGED] out of his pocket, and Dr. Glass gasped.

"What does that do? And where did you get it?"

"For the second question: I found it at a yard sale that the Site Director was doing on my street corner. For the first question: I have no idea."

Dr. Bright then began to shake the [DATA EXPUNGED] vigorously.

"What are you doing?!"

"This is... how you... activate it..."

The [DATA EXPUNGED] glew with a bright green light, and then exploded. Both of them were blinded by the color change, and they had to look away. A few moments later, the green spots of color disappeared from their vision, and they saw that they had been transported to the front desk.

"You see?" Dr. Bright said. "I told you it would work!"

"You are such a reckless fool," Dr. Glass whispered.

They looked around the dark abandoned lobby for any ways out. But there was no way out. All of the emergency doors had closed, exactly as they had set them to. They were trapped here until someone else let them out... or until they died.

"I found something!"

Dr. Glass walked over to what Dr. Bright and noticed and nearly gasped. It was a phone on the wall that was currently hanging off the hook. It was on and currently connected to the number ███-996-1222.

Dr. Glass found himself approaching the phone for whatever reason. He picked up the earpiece and held it in his hand for a moment. "Hello?"

"Hello."

He recognized the voice. "What do you want, SCP-953?"

"I'm not SCP-953. I'm, uh, the Nine-Tailed Fox."

"What?"

"I'm uh, the fox with nine tails. You know, the one you send places to contain your anomalies."

"No you're not. You can't trick me with your psionic abilities."

"Actually, I can only use those when someone touches one of my tails."

"Hmm?"

"You don't even know who you're talking to, do you?"

"No."

"Turn around, Dr. Glass. You too, Dr. Bright."

"Huh? How did you—"

"I'm behind you!"

He dropped the phone and turned around. Standing directly behind them was a gigantic fox covered in golden-white fur. Nine tails stretched out behind it, curling and uncurling slowly of their own volition. Standing over two feet above them in height, it looked down on them with its two red eyes, a slight smile crossing over its face.

"Oh my..." Dr. Glass said.

"Are you the one that was talking to us on the phone?"

The otherworldy fox did not speak, however. It just remained there, looking at them.

"Don't play mute on us," Dr. Bright said. "We both heard you talking on the phone over there a second there."

The otherworldly fox continued to stare at them.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Dr. Bright said, walking over and nudging them.

Dr. Bright suddenly cringed down and began to scream in pain.

"Oh my god what did you do?!" He screamed at the fox. "It burns! It burns!"

"What's going on?" Dr. Glass said.

He bent down to pick up Dr. Bright. However, the moment he touched him, he fell down onto the floor and began to scream as well. They both writhed on the ground, screaming bloody murder, and then suddenly disappeared.

The fox shook their head. Two more humans cursed... Why had they touched her tail? Were they that ignorant?

Oh well. She had no time to worry about the fate about them. She walked out of the room, her deadly tails dragging behind her as she opened one of the doors and walked through.

She had to put her cousin back into containment.

*-*

"What?" Dr. Glass shouted. "That makes no sense!"

"Yeah... I don't say this often, but... I agree with him," Dr. Bright added. "And why do we all remember different things anyway?"

"I don't know. Probably the author couldn't be bothered to write a proper backstory for this fic," Rachrina said. "Since we don't really know what the 'true' past is, we all have different ideas of what such a past would look like."

"Oh my goodness!" Dr. Glass shouted. "Do you two really believe this nonsense?"

"Yes," Dr. Bright said. "Now, please tell me what happened next. I want to know where we disappeared to."

Dr. Glass was no longer interested in hearing any more, so it was only natural that his mind went towards other topics. He was not expecting, however, for his mind to literally drift out of his body again while he was tuning them out.

He took a moment to ponder Dr. Bright and Rachrina, ignorant of what was happening to him at the current moment. The way his body was positioned now, it seemed like he was listening to what they were saying. No one would ever realize that he wasn't actually there.

He took off from the control room, passing right through the airlock and entering the halls of flesh. He did not need to breath because he had become a floating spirit, and without a grimy piece of glass covering his face, he was really able to get a feel for and appreciate the twisty meat passageways he was flying through.

On his travels, he decided to float through the wall of the tunnel to take a shortcut. He got lost, however, and soon found himself in her throat. The usual two pipes lead downwards, one to the stomach and one to the lungs, but he also found that there was a third opening.

He floated through the closed valve and found himself in a tiny dark sac filled with kerosene. A hulky man with a respirator was in there as well, brandishing a minigun in one hand and a box of matches in the other.

"Just one second, Bessie," Heavy said to the minigun as he dropped it to the floor.

He rummaged around in his pockets before pulling out a walkie-talkie in a ziplock baggie. He pushed down the commicator button and shouted, "I'm listening!"

Someone on the other end said something that Dr. Glass couldn't make out. He moved a little closer, trying to hear it better.

"—in the cargo bay and we found something very interesting."

"IT WAS A HUMAN!" His companion shouted pretentiously.

"yeah, what papyrus said," The other skeleton replied. "but that's not all. get a load of this guy as well."

There was a scuffling noise on the other end of the radio and then a third voice was heard.

"I am sorry that this happened! We did not mean to harm you. Stanley just gets bored of hearing the same story over and over. I wanted to do something different for him this time around. A new location besides the office, and maybe finally some people for him to talk to as well. Please don't hurt us."

There was another scuffling noise on the other end of the radio, and sans's voice came back on.

"that voice was from a narrator, as he calls himself. an invisible guy that just sits around and tries to tell people what to do."

"Hmmm," Heavy grunted.

"they seem nice enough, but we have to lock them up for the current moment. we found them in the cargo bay, so it's possible that they were trying to steal something to bring back to their 'story' they keep talking about."

"Hmmm," Heavy grunted again. "I'll be right over."

He shoved the zip-locked walkie-talkie back into his pocket and picked up his minigun from the floor of Rachrina's fire pouch.

"Come on, Bessie," He said to the gun as he started to walk out to the valve leading out of the organ. "We're going on a little trip to see some stowaways. Be good, all right?"

The valve opened and he jumped down into the other portion of the throat. Dr. Glass floated out right behind him, slowly descending into Rachrina's stomach. It was dark in there, but the walls glowed with a slight redness, and the walls rippled like a dancing flame. Strangely, however, Nobody was appearing to be digested.

"Hey!"

Dr. Glass was startled and looked around for the voice. However, there was no one else there. He shrugged and followed Heavy as he dived into the gastric juices.

He attempted to follow the heavyweight down, but he got lost in the murky liquids. He could no longer tell which was up and down. When he finally managed to resurface, he was feeling dizzy and a sharp pain was stabbing in his mind. He had been away from his body for too long.

He floated back through the many walls, moving through the passageways of meat until he finally returned to the control room. He floated through the two doorways of the airlock and touched his own limp body, quickly surging back into it. He reflexively quivered as he regained feeling again, causing Dr. Bright to stare at him.

"Where were you?" He asked.

Dr. Glass shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"By the way, did you ever get to hear about my fortune cookie?"

"Umm... No," Dr. Glass said. "And I don't really want to, sorry."

"Did you hear that there were stowaways found? In the cargo area?"

"Are you interrogating me?"

Dr. Bright laughed. "That is such a hilarious assumption. And it's true. Now come on! Let's go see the newcomers!"

The doorways of the airlock opened up, and a man stepped inside. He didn't look like very much in particular. He was just an ordinary man, with an ordinary face and an ordinary amount of hair. The ordinary man adjusted the ordinary tie of his ordinary suit and smiled an ordinary smile.

"This is Stanley." The extraordinary narrator said. "And I am his narrator."

"Nice to meet you both," Dr. Bright said politely.

"What were you doing in me?" Rachrina asked.

"Oh, well that's a long story. Do you want to tell them, Stanley?"

Stanley shook his head.

"Oh right. I remember now. You can't talk. I'm the one that can talk."

Stanley nodded.

"All right. Let's begin again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've thoroughly confused you, I can only say this: It's crack. There is no possible logical or acceptable explanation that would allow the characters to be together in this scenario. I just wrote this thing, and here they are. No backstory, just plot.
> 
> If the lack of background bugs you, you can imagine your own sequence of events that might have brought them here if you like. I don't care.


	5. This Is The Story Of Two Intruders

This is the story of a man named Stanley.

Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427. Employee #427's job was simple: he sat at his desk in room 427 and pushed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk, telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them, and in what order. This is what Employee #427 did of every day of every month of year, and although others might have considered it soul rending, Stanley relished every moment the orders came in, as though he had been made exactly for this job.

But Stanley was not happy.

You see, he had always aspired to be more. To be something greater than just a man who spent his life pushing buttons all day. Look at him, pushing buttons, doing everything exactly as he was told. Now, Stanley's pushing buttons. Now he's eating lunch. Now he's going home. Now he's coming back to work. Every day, he does these menial tasks, not even knowing for what reason he is doing such a boring thing.

He could not stop working of course, as he needed a job to support himself and his wife. But in his mind, Stanley could go anywhere and do anything he wanted. He always returned to reality of course, when he was done imagining things. He always told himself 'that was not real, that would never happen to me'.

One day, he imagined that he stepped out of his office to fnd that his boss, his co-workers and every human in the building had disappeared mysteriously from the face of the earth. This imagining excited Stanley greatly.

Stanley imagined then that he would come across two open doors, each one leading him through many different places. Down one path is a Mind Control Facility located far below the building, and down another is a yellow line that weaves its way through the office, and yet another has a game with a baby. And he called it The Stanley Parable.

This was Stanley's greatest imagining yet. Stanley enjoyed repeating it over and over, hoping that if he went down another path, he would find a completely new story. This paradox inside him made him feel so free. He felt like he had control over his life again, and how he could do anything he wanted to now that everyone was gone.

He had forgotten, however, that this was all only in his imagination. Even as he was imagining himself going through the office and exploring the paths again and again, he was in reality still in his office pushing buttons. The more he imagined his "Parable", the more Stanley forgets which life is the real one. Stanley thinks he has power, but he can only be an observer. Every second he stays there in his fantasy, every second he spends in his office, he's slowly killing himself.

But then I arrived. I came here, noticed him so desperately trying to escape, and I made him an offer. If he wanted to, he could turn his imagination into a reality. I would make a game about his experiences, and that game would become his life.

I tried to warn him that it was permanent. I tried to warn him that if he decided to be a part of this piece of art, that he would never be able to go back. He would never see his boss, his coworkers, or his wife ever again.

But he didn't listen.

I made it all real, and he got up from his desk, happily running down the paths again. This time, he knew he didn't have to imagine it. It was real, and it always would be. And Stanley was happy.

Soon, however, Stanley was sitting at his office in the beginning and he realized something. No matter whether it was real or not, it was still all the same. He was finally realizing that the many paths through the game were merely an illusion of freedom, as opposed to actual liberation. He was still just as stuck as he was before, and now he was also lonely.

It was when he closed the door of his office. It was when he refused to even go out and hear me speak a single time when I realized that something was wrong. And when I restarted the game, and he spent the next few playthroughs jumping off a cargo lift over and over again in an attempt to permanently kill himself, I finally realized what was going on.

He was going through depression. He needed help.

I was at a loss for what to do until I happened upon a site called Archiveofourown.org and I had an idea. At that place, characters could freely mingle with each other and share a story together. Sure, it was at the loss of the interactivity a game could provide, and I vouch for that very much. But games already had fake interactivity anyway, mine included, so it was a good chance.

I was the one that told him the idea, and he accepted. Then it was just a simple matter of sneaking him into the author's first draft of this fanfic while it was being written, and now he's here.

You see? He's got a big old smile on his face. He's feeling better already. Just being able to see real live people again was such a big improvement.

Please. Please let us stay. We promise not to mess anything up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this monologue by copy-pasting pieces of the narrator's quotes and cutting them together. After a while, my hands got tired from CTRL-C and CTRL-V, so I just typed the ending part freestyle.


	6. Escaping The Madness

The rest of the crew, gathered in the control room to hear the narrator's story, took a minute to think it over.

"you know what?!" sans said, his pupils beginning to glow with a slight blue fire. And then it disappeared. "i vote you can stay."

"YES! THEY CAN STAY WITH ME!" Papyrus added.

Everyone else cast in their votes as well, most of them in the positive.

Dr. Glass sighed. It was official then. This was the weirdest day he had ever experienced.

"Get some sleep, people," Rachrina said through the comms system. "We arrive at our destination tomorrow."

The members of the crew disbanded again, heading out of the captain's room and going to their quarters located elsewhere in the body. Dr. Glass stayed in the "control" center, looking at Dr. Bright with a look of contempt. He just smiled.

"One day down, five-hundred ninety-nine to go. Now, let's play with SCP-584!"

Dr. Glass just slapped his hand over his eyes. This was it. Dr. Bright had gone too far. He was about to lose it.

"How do I escape?" He whispered to nobody in particular. "How do I get back to where I was before all this?"

"I have no idea."

Dr. Glass blinked. "Who's there?"

"Oh, sorry," The voice said from midair. "I thought that 'n' up there was capitalized. I'm Nobody."

"Uhh..." Dr. Glass said awkwardly. "Hello to you too."

"But... I might be able to help you, though."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I can get us back to our own world."

"Tell me."

"It's pretty simple, really. But we need something from the cargo."

"Don't worry," Dr. Glass said, entering the airlock and putting on an air suit. The first door of the airlock closed, and the second one opened. "I know the way."

A few minutes later, however, they were still walking through the tunnels of flesh and not getting anywhere in particular. Dr. Glass heard a sigh from right behind him, causing him to jump.

"He does not know the way."

"Well, sorry, I can't turn invisible and float through walls like you can!" Dr. Glass said in annoyance. "You'll just have to be patient, okay?"

Another few minutes later, and they had both arrived at the "cargo bay", which was actually just a stomach filled with wooden crates and a large pile of antacids. Dr. Glass walked around the piles of boxes, looking for the item that Nobody was guiding him towards.

"A little to the left... A little to the right... Yes! Yes! Right there!"

Dr. Glass opened the crate to reveal a single rotting boot.

"We came all the way here for this?"

"Yes... No..." Nobody sighed. "It's not what it looks like! It's a portkey!"

"A port-wha?"

"A disguised transdimensional wormhole generator! Duh!"

"Oh."

"We can use this to get out of this universe. Then we look for an access point to The Wanderer's Library, and we'll be back in no time!"

"That's the plan?"

"Yeah?"

"It sounds really generic. Like those kinds of plans where you don't think all the way through and things start going wrong."

"Well, do you want to get home or not?"

"I do."

"Then pick up the boot!"

Dr. Glass picked up the boot, and they were transported through time and space to their next destination.

*-*

When you have just transported yourself into a new universe, you do not want the first thing you hear to be someone saying "uh oh".

"What do you mean, uh oh?" Dr. Glass replied, afraid of the answer.

"Just look where you are."

Dr. Glass opened his eyes and found both of his hands clutched tightly to a blue police call box. However, for whatever reason, it was not anywhere near the ground, and they were actually floating through the empty void of space. It was a good thing he was still wearing his air suit, or he would probably be attempting to breathe right now.

He loosened his grip on the box and used one of his hands to push against the door leading inside. However, it didn't even so much as budge. He was locked outside.

"Try again," Nobody said.

He shoved against the door harder, but it still didn't open. It failed to even move a single inch inwards.

Dr. Glass sighed. This couldn't possibly get any worse. Then his eyes opened in alarm. Had he actually dared to think that? If the world was indeed fictional, then he had just tempted fate, or at the very least, the mercy of the author.

Suddenly, there was a great din of noise. A strange ship with four wings zoomed by, causing him to lose his grip. He was now slowly drifting away into the empty vacuum of space.

"Do something!" He shouted to Nobody.

But there was nobody there... Dr. Glass was completely alone.

"Oh, hello!" A glowing eye on a metal orb said to him as he floated by it. "Were you ejected into space as well?"

"What?" Dr. Glass said in confusion.

Another metal orb appeared to be orbiting the first one, and it had an orange eye.

"Space, space, space. Stars, planets, sky. So much to see... So much to do... It's space!"

"Yes, I know we're in space!" The blue orb said in annoyance. "Will you shut up now?!"

"SPAAAAAAAAAACE!!"

Dr. Glass passed them by. He floated through the empty void of space, going deeper and deeper into the void of blackness. He had plenty of air, but there was still no way to get back to safety.

Unless... He looked around, trying to see it. There it was.

The old boot was here, floating in the opposite direction towards Uranus... but it was here. He paddled toward it desperately, hoping there was a bit of transportation power left in the otherwise-mundane item.

He flew through the inky blackness, his paddling finally working. He was heading towards the boot. He was finally going to escape this madness.

Suddenly, everything went dark.


	7. The Dilemma Of Logic

He awoke to find himself in the middle of a bustling city. The buildings stretched high, people were walking around, cars were hovering by...

He got up to his feet. This was not your usual city. It was very likely an alien civilization of some nature. Was this place on the surface of Uranus? Had it made it here safely?

Or was something else going on?

"Nice place, isn't it?" Dr. Bright said from directly behind him.

Nope. It was another flashback.

He groaned and slapped his hand over his eyes. "Dr. Bright, get away from me."

"But..."

"Get away before I tazer you!" He screamed, pulling one out.

Dr. Bright slowly backed away, his hands up in the air. "What's gotten into you, man?"

"I know what's going on, and this is going to end right now," Dr. Glass said, his finger pushing down on the trigger. "Die, you filthy reality-warper."

"Wait! It's not me!"

The wires came out of the tazers, hooked into Dr. Bright's flesh, and blasted 1,000 volts of electricity right into him. He fell to the ground, his arms limp and his chest smoking.

Dr. Glass put the tazer in his pocket and left the alleyway, disappearing into the crowded pedestrians. As he rode along the conveyor belt sidewalk, he wondered if he was done the right thing, and how he was supposed to return to the present.

However, he didn't have a very long time to wonder about these things, as something fell from the sky and pressed itself down on him. The smelly object restrained him to the conveyor belt, causing it to stop moving. He gasped for air, attempting to breath. He was about to pass out from the stench.

Then it lifted, and he was able to see again. However, he was stuck to the object, and it continued moving upwards until it was over a hundred feet up in the air.

He saw a yellow something moving up above him, so he held onto that. It began to move back and forth, causing him to be launched up in the air. He landed safely on a bunch of yellow... fur?

He examined his environment more closely. He appeared to be on top of a gigantic creature with yellow fur. On both of its sides, however, were lots of sharp yellow spikes, like a porcupine. A small yellow tail was at the back of it, still wagging at him.

"Oh, hi there, little one," She said. "Sorry for sitting on you."

Dr. Glass wasn't sure what to say. Maybe he should just pretend to be mute and then he wouldn't have to say anything.

"The name's Voltrina. Who are you?"

"Dr. Glass," He said, finally finding his voice.

"Well, Dr. Glass, my apologies for disturbing your day. Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

"Actually, I've been having a horrible day," He confided. "You see, I don't know how to get home."

"That's fine," She said. "Just tell me what your address is and I'll..."

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean I can't get back to my own universe."

"Just tell me the address and I can get you there."

"Uh... Okay. The address is..."

He told her the address and she smiled in recognition.

"I know exactly where to take you. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Wait, what?"

The environment around him dissolved as the flashback ended. He was back in the present and now hurtling straight towards Uranus.

The boot was next to him now, and he grabbed it. However, nothing happened. It was all out of teleportation power. He sighed and let it go, watching it plummet into Uranus.

There was nothing left to do now. He closed his eyes and waited for the moment of truth to arrive, for his final fate to be revealed.

He slammed right into a familiar spot once more. It smelled just as much as he remembered it being.

"Oh sorry, I did it again," Voltrina said apologetically. "Hold on tight!"

He held on tightly to her butthole. There was a crackling of energy all around him, and then they teleported.

They reappeared in a grassy field just outside Site-17 of the SCP Foundation.

"Here you are," She said as he slowly peeled off her and landed safely on the ground.

"Thanks..." He said.

"I can't have you guys catching me, so... See you never!"

There was another blinding electricity storm, and Voltrina disappeared.

Dr. Glass sighed and entered the building. It was good to be back.

Then he remembered what had happened.

Dr. Bright wasn't with him. Dr. Bright was probably still laying out in that city. He probably wasn't dead, but he was definitely going to be very confused about how to get home.

Dr. Glass sighed. Well, good riddance at that. Maybe Rachrina or Voltrina or some other giant supernatural being could help him get back. He wasn't risking himself anymore.

He had a job to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story's almost over. Only one chapter left to read.  
> I threw Voltrina into this story as a surprise. Again, no knowledge of their first story necessary, blah blah blah. Hope you enjoyed the long build-up to butts throughout this piece of fiction.


	8. The End

"Wake up! Wake up!"

Dr. Glass groaned and opened his eyes. Dr. Bright was standing over him. He seemed completely okay and unburned.

"You've been sleeping on this couch for hours. The site is closing down in 10 minutes."

Dr. Glass sighed and walked out of the building. He crossed the parking lot, searching for his car among all of the other cars. He got in his and started the ignition, zooming along the highway as he headed back home.

He had to take a moment to wonder to himself what had happened. Was it all a dream? Had he really imagined the whole thing up?

Or was it an anomaly at work?

He looked up towards the sky. Right now, he didn't know. But what he did know was that the world was full of things to ponder.

And it felt good to do something different. He had spent his whole life seeming trapped into a single path, always locking up even the most harmless anomalies without question. Maybe it was time for him to relax, to think about doing something new and less urgent with his life.

He looked up to the sky. He could almost make out some sort of object falling from the sky. It looked a lot like a...

A blue box.

He drove off an exit to the highway and parked the car. He looked up at the blue police call box. It was indeed descending, and it was about to land somewhere very close to him. Thunk! It landed softly on the street next to him.

The doors to it opened, and a woman stepped out of it. She looked at him and winked.

"Hullo. I'm the Doctor." She said, then frowned. "I used to be a man... but it seems with this thirteenth regeneration, I've ended up switching genders."

Dr. Glass gaped on in horror. The blue box was real... That meant that most likely everything else had been real too.

It wasn't a dream. It's all for real.

"Well, I need a new companion," The Doctor said. "Come along."

The Doctor took his hand and lead the calm-yet-protesting Glass into the TARDIS. The doors closed, and the siren on the top began to flash as the dimension-travelling, bigger-on-the-inside vehicle teleported itself to another planet.

*-*

The next day, Dr. Bright was alone in the break room. He paced back and forth in worry.

"I can't believe it," He thought aloud. "I have that weird dream about being inside that creature's stomach...Dr. Glass runs away in the dream...and today he hasn't come to work."

Dr. Bright stopped pacing to lean along the wall.

"It seems like a random coincidence...but that dream...seemed so real..."

Dr. Bright pulled a fortune cookie out of the box on the shelf. He ate the cookie and flipped over the slip of paper to read his fortune.

_One of your co-workers is about to encounter grave danger. To save them from their death, however, you must make a great sacrifice._

"I knew it!" Dr. Bright shouted, hopping up to his feet. "Dr. Glass must be in danger!"

He put on his jacket and ran out of the front doors. Outside it was cold and foggy... but he searched anyway, looking around in the darkness.

"Don't worry, Dr. Glass. I'm coming for you."

Still holding the fortune cookie, he walked forward and disappeared into the mist, being transported to a parallel dimension. And then, there was nothing there.

All was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. That is the end of the story.  
> Seems like a bit of a downer, eh? Not to worry. You will find out their fates very soon...


End file.
